Al-Mundhiri on kindness, gentleness, and forbearance

In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful

Al-Mundhiri recorded the following chapter in his book Al-Targhib wal-Tarhib:

الترغيب في الرفق والأناة والحلم

Inspiration to gentleness, clemency, and forbearance.

Source: al-Targhīb wal-Tarhīb 3/414

Aisha reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ فِي الْأَمْرِ كُلِّهِ

Allah is kind and he loves kindness in all matters.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6528, Muttafaqun Alayhi

In another narration, the Prophet said:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيُعْطِي عَلَى الرِّفْقِ مَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ وَمَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى مَا سِوَاهُ

Verily, Allah is kind and he loves kindness. He rewards for kindness what is not granted for harshness and he does not reward anything else like it.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2593, Grade: Sahih

Aisha reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

إِنَّ الرِّفْقَ لَا يَكُونُ فِي شَيْءٍ إِلَّا زَانَهُ وَلَا يُنْزَعُ مِنْ شَيْءٍ إِلَّا شَانَهُ

Verily, kindness is not found in anything but that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything but that it disgraces it.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2594, Grade: Sahih

Jarir reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

مَنْ يُحْرَمْ الرِّفْقَ يُحْرَمْ الْخَيْرَ

Whoever is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2592, Grade: Sahih

In another narration, the Prophet said:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ لَيُعْطِي عَلَى الرِّفْقِ مَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى الْخُرْقِ وَإِذَا أَحَبَّ اللَّهُ عَبْدًا أَعْطَاهُ الرِّفْقَ مَا مِنْ أَهْلِ بَيْتٍ يُحْرَمُونَ الرِّفْقَ إِلَّا قَدْ حُرِمُوا

Verily, Allah Almighty gives for gentleness what he does not give for foolishness. If Allah loves a servant, he gives him gentleness. The people of household are not deprived of gentleness but that they are truly deprived.

Source: al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr 2274, Grade: Hasan

Abu Darda reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

مَنْ أُعْطِيَ حَظَّهُ مِنْ الرِّفْقِ فَقَدْ أُعْطِيَ حَظَّهُ مِنْ الْخَيْرِ وَمَنْ حُرِمَ حَظَّهُ مِنْ الرِّفْقِ فَقَدْ حُرِمَ حَظَّهُ مِنْ الْخَيْرِ

Whoever has the quality of kindness has been given his share of goodness. Whoever is deprived of the quality of kindness has been deprived of his share of goodness.

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2013, Grade: Sahih

Abu Umamah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيَرْضَاهُ وَيُعِينُ عَلَيْهِ مَا لَا يُعِينُ عَلَى الْعُنْفِ

Verily, Allah Almighty loves gentleness and is pleased with it. He lends support for in a way he does not support harshness.

Source: al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr 7477, Grade: Sahih li ghayrihi

Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

إِذَا أَرَادَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ بِأَهْلِ بَيْتٍ خَيْرًا أَدْخَلَ عَلَيْهِمْ الرِّفْقَ

If Allah Almighty intends good for a household, he lets gentleness enter their home.

Source: Musnad Aḥmad 23906, Grade: Sahih

Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

مَا أُعْطِيَ أَهْلُ بَيْتٍ الرِّفْقَ إِلَّا نَفَعَهُمْ

The people of a household are not granted kindness but that it will benefit them.

Source: al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr 13261, Grade: Sahih

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

لا يَكُونُ الْخُرْقُ فِي شَيْءٍ إِلا شَانَهُ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ

Harshness is not found in anything but that it disgraces it. Verily, Allah is kind and he loves kindness.

Source: al-Adab al-Mufrad 462, Grade: Sahih

Abu Huraira reported: A bedouin entered the mosque of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, while the Prophet was sitting. The man prayed and when finished he said, “O Allah, have mercy on me and Muhammad and no one else.” The Prophet turned to him and said:

تَحَجَّرْتَ وَاسِعًا

You have restricted something that is vast.

It was not long before he was urinating in the mosque, so the people rushed to him, but the Prophet said:

أَهْرِيقُوا عَلَيْهِ سَجْلًا مِنْ مَاءٍ أَوْ دَلْوًا مِنْ مَاءٍ

Pour a bucket or a tumbler of water over it.

Then, the Prophet said:

إِنَّمَا بُعِثْتُمْ مُيَسِّرِينَ وَلَمْ تُبْعَثُوا مُعَسِّرِينَ

You have been sent to make things easy, and you were not sent to make things difficult.

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 147, Grade: Sahih

In another narration, the man said:

بِأَبِي وَأُمِّي‏ فَلَمْ يُؤَنِّبْ وَلَمْ يَسُبَّ

By my mother and father, the Prophet did not rebuke me or curse me.

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 529, Grade: Hasan

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

يَسِّرُوا وَلَا تُعَسِّرُوا وَبَشِّرُوا وَلَا تُنَفِّرُوا

Make things easy and do not make things difficult. Give glad tidings and do not frighten them away.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 69, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi

In another narration, the Prophet said:

وسكِّنوا ولا تُنفِّروا

Make people calm and do not frighten them away.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1734, Grade: Sahih

Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said:

مَا خُيِّرَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بَيْنَ أَمْرَيْنِ إِلَّا أَخَذَ أَيْسَرَهُمَا مَا لَمْ يَكُنْ إِثْمًا فَإِنْ كَانَ إِثْمًا كَانَ أَبْعَدَ النَّاسِ مِنْهُ وَمَا انْتَقَمَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لِنَفْسِهِ إِلَّا أَنْ تُنْتَهَكَ حُرْمَةُ اللَّهِ فَيَنْتَقِمَ لِلَّهِ بِهَا

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, was not presented with two matters but that he would choose the easier of them, as long as it was not sinful. If it was sinful, he would be the furthest of people from it. The Prophet did not take revenge for himself, unless the sacred limits of Allah were violated, for then he would retaliate for the sake of Allah.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 3367, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi

Ibn Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

أَلَا أُخْبِرُكُمْ بِمَنْ يَحْرُمُ عَلَى النَّارِ أَوْ بِمَنْ تَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهِ النَّارُ عَلَى كُلِّ قَرِيبٍ هَيِّنٍ سَهْلٍ

Shall I not tell you for whom the Hellfire is forbidden? It is every person accessible, polite, and mild.

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2488, Grade: Sahih

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

التَّأَنِّي مِنَ اللَّهِ وَالْعَجَلَةُ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ

Calmness is from Allah, and recklessness is from Satan.

Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá 18651, Grade: Hasan

Ibn Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said to Al-Ashajj ‘Abdul al-Qays:

إِنَّ فِيكَ خَصْلَتَيْنِ يُحِبُّهُمَا اللَّهُ الْحِلْمُ وَالْأَنَاةُ

Verily, you have two qualities beloved to Allah. They are forbearance and clemency.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 17, Grade: Sahih

In another narration, the Prophet said:

الْحِلْمُ وَالْحَيَاءُ

They are forbearance and modesty.

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4186, Grade: Sahih

Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said:

كُنْتُ أَمْشِي مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَعَلَيْهِ بُرْدٌ نَجْرَانِيٌّ غَلِيظُ الْحَاشِيَةِ فَأَدْرَكَهُ أَعْرَابِيٌّ فَجَبَذَ بِرِدَائِهِ جَبْذَةً شَدِيدَةً قَالَ أَنَسٌ فَنَظَرْتُ إِلَى صَفْحَةِ عَاتِقِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَقَدْ أَثَّرَتْ بِهَا حَاشِيَةُ الرِّدَاءِ مِنْ شِدَّةِ جَبْذَتِهِ ثُمَّ قَالَ يَا مُحَمَّدُ مُرْ لِي مِنْ مَالِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي عِنْدَكَ فَالْتَفَتَ إِلَيْهِ فَضَحِكَ ثُمَّ أَمَرَ لَهُ بِعَطَاءٍ

I was walking with the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, while he was wearing a Najrani sheet with a thick border. A bedouin Arab overtook the Prophet and forcibly pulled his clothes. I looked at the shoulder of the Prophet and I saw that the edge of his shirt had left a mark because of the strength of his pull. The man said, “O Muhammad! Order them to give me something from Allah’s wealth which you have!” The Prophet turned and he smiled, then he ordered that the man be given charity.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5738, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi

Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: I remember seeing the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, tell the story of a prophet who was beaten by his people and he wiped the blood from his face, saying:

رَبِّ اغْفِرْ لِقَوْمِي فَإِنَّهُمْ لاَ يَعْلَمُونَ

My Lord, forgive my people for they do not know.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6530, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi

Success comes from Allah, and Allah knows best.